Two Newfoundlanders in a Bar Talk About Paul McCartney and Wings’ “Mull of Kintyre”

-Oh God here it is!

-Here’s the one!

-Heart be still, b’y.

-Heart be still!

-The tops.

-The top man, this one.

-Is that what you’re gonna be doing then?

-Is that what I’m gonna be doing?

-See, you’re at it again. Repeating my exclamatives.

-My what?

-Exclamatives! See I put an exclamation point on that statement to stress my point.

-“Exclamative’ is not a word, and by the way, not I’m not doing whatever you suggest I’m doing.

-Well it’s one thing to be excited by something, like this song. It’s another thing to be excited in a way that, you know, expresses your personal self.

-You want me to whip out my horn and fling it around for a bit? That personal enough for ya?

-God no. Keep it in your pants.

-So it’s unanimous. I ain’t no hippy, like.

-Not anymore, anyway.

-True, there was a time.

-The flower children.

-Rainbows and lollipops. This one, this Macaw, he was a big one in that.

-Not as much as that other fella, but still.

-Ah they were in it together. Lennon AND McCartney. Which is what made em The Beatles, I suppose.

-Until they weren’t.

-True. Old Yoko got em.

-Well, there are varying degrees of opinion regarding that. It was, you know, falling apart before the likes of her showed up.

-True. Ah, but they gave us some moments, b’y.

-They did. Even after. I like this track, too. I do.

-A fine track. The pipes. The pipes and some acoustic guitar and some singing. You don’t need mores than that, b’y.

-Unless you’re doing your so-called Prog Rock. Then you need more. Lots more.

-Wind chimes and the like. Wind chimes and maybe a gong or two.

-A flaming gong.

-A flaming gong on fire! Now you’re talking. The Strawbs. Now there was a band. They had a gong. Maybe two gongs. Can’t recall.

-Like Spook says, “The 60s ended and The Strawbs began.”

-They saved our heads, they did.

-They took a wrong turn at Dublin and ended up here. Best thing they ever did.

-Favourite sons!

-They still sell records here. Nowhere else but here. Ah, but we’re loyal if nothing else.

-Loyal and handsome. Maybe one day we’ll be loyal and handsome and rich but I’m not holding my breath.

-You take what you can get, John, and really, two of three ain’t bad.

-Don’t be bringing up Meatloaf now.

-Oh Christ, here we go.

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